It’s often said that laughter and a good sense of humor is the best way to celebrate anniversaries — and we completely agree!
But if you’re unsure of what to write in a happy anniversary card (or just need a bit of inspiration), we’ve compiled more than 150 hilarious anniversary wishes for every type of couple.
So whether you’re looking for something subtle, over the top, or in between — you’re sure to find a quote that resonates with you.
In This Article
Funny Anniversary Quotes
1. “I forgot it was your anniversary, but thankfully Mark Zuckerberg didn’t.”
2. “I love you even though you’re not wine.”
3. “Unlike toilet paper, may your love never run out.”
4. “A wedding band is the smallest handcuff ever made, I’m glad you chose your cellmate wisely.”
5. “I only argue with you about everything because I love you.”
6. “Let’s celebrate the day you both gave up on finding anyone better.”
7. “I didn’t forget your anniversary last year, I just didn’t remember it.”
8. “Keep making happy memories together even though you’re starting to lose yours.”
9. “I’ve been looking forward to this for 364 days.”
10. “You would think this thing called love would get easier. Nope, not one bit!”
11. “I love you cause you turn me on just as much as you piss me off.”
12. “[X] days married and you still haven’t killed each other yet. Impressive.”
13. “It all started with a kiss (and after a few drinks).”
14. “It may look like crap but at least I got you a card.”
15. “Just wanted you to know I’ve already put more thought into our anniversary date than I did into my decision to get married.”
16. “Your love for each is higher than the death toll in Game of Thrones.”
17. “I definitely could not have tolerated me for this long.”
18. “Happy anniversary to a couple whose love and devotion after so many years continues to freak the hell out of everyone.”
19. “This is turning into the longest one night stand ever.”
20. “I feel so lucky to have remembered your anniversary.”
21. “Today is the perfect day to belittle your single friends.”
22. “I hope you have a great anniversary and that this exempts me from ever having to remember it again.”
23. “You’re tighter than a pair of skinny jeans.”
24. “Fact: You have at least 8 times more fun when you’re together.”
25. “It’s pretty cool that you’ve been together for however long you’ve been together.”
26. “Seems you’ve finally figured it out: he wears the pants and she controls the bank account.”
27. “Wait, you’ve been married how long?!”
28. “Frankly astonished you’re not divorced yet.”
29. “I’m glad you both broke the 3-date rule.”
30. “You’re both hotter than a Pop-Tart fresh out of the toaster.”
31. “I know it’s cheesy, but you are brie-liant.”
32. “Happy anniversary to my significant otter.”
33. “I’ve not for-cotton our anniversary.”
34. “Love you from my head…tomatoes.”
35. “[X] years on and I still wood.”
36. “You two turtally rock!”
37. “You’re both bun in a million.”
38. “Not to get all sappy, but I think you’re both tree-mendous.”
39. “You two turtally rock!”
40. “You mermaid for each other.”
Funny Anniversary Wishes for Husbands
41. “Remember when you held in your farts? I miss those days…”
42. “If you’re reading this, it’s our anniversary (hope you didn’t forget)!”
43. “Thanks for pretending that you love me more than video games.”
44. “I don’t always plot your murder at night, but when I do it’s because you’re snoring.”
45. “You’re the perfect choice for my first spouse!”
46. “Roses are red, violets are blue, the dog is my favorite, but you’re okay too.”
47. “I love you more than wine but please don’t make me prove it.”
48. “There’s no one I’d rather steal the bed covers from.”
49. “You’re doing such an incredible job with this husband stuff. 10/10 would marry again.”
50. “You’re the best thing I’ve ever found on the Internet.”
51. “Congrats on passing your one year trial! I’ve decided to keep you.”
52. “You said nothing would make you happier than a new TV for our anniversary, so I bought you nothing.”
53. “I wish you would empty the dishwasher and do the laundry more often… but I still love you.”
54. “I love you as much as cats love boxes.”
55. “No matter how hard life gets I would never feed you to a tiger.”
56. “You’ve tested positive for being the best husband in the world.”
57. “I love you more than my shoe collection.”
58. “There’s no one else I’d rather question what to have for dinner every night.”
59. “I’m so happy I married you. Carrying in my own groceries really sucked when I was single.”
60. “Thank you for being my radiator in bed.”
61. “Your yearly review is here again: there’s room for improvement but adequate overall.”
62. “Another year of stealing your chips.”
63. “I love you even though you suck at texting me back.”
64. “Thanks for putting up with me for [X] years.”
65. “I’d give you my last chicken nugget.”
66. “I vow to never watch Netflix episodes alone ever again.”
67. “There’s no one else I’d rather have swiped right for.”
68. “You’re my favorite husband thus far.”
69. “You think I’m crazy, but I’m not the one who married me.”
70. “Me talking. You pretending to listen. It’s worked out well so far.”
Read More: 125+ Funny Anniversary Wishes for Your Husband
Funny Anniversary Wishes for Wives
71. “You talking. Me pretending to listen. It’s worked out pretty well.”
72. “I thought a card would be cheaper than divorce.”
73. “There’s no one I would rather argue over nothing with.”
74. “I love you as much as you love your phone.”
75. “I feel so lucky to have remembered our anniversary.”
76. “You nag me more than my mom, but I still talk to you. That’s true love.”
77. “Well, we haven’t killed each other yet. I’d say we’re off to a great start.”
78. “I’d step on legos for you.”
79. “They aren’t farts, they’re love clouds to keep you warm.”
80. “Today we celebrate the best decision you ever made.”
81. “Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.”
82. “I wish you would cook and do the laundry more often… but I still love you.”
83. “Another year as my wife. You lucky, lucky woman.”
84. “Excellent wife. Would marry again.”
85. “Thanks for not leaving when I stopped holding in my farts.”
86. “I love you enough to give you ¼ of the bed every night.”
87. “I’d go to Costco on a Saturday with you.”
88. “[X] days married and you still haven’t killed me (yet). Thanks for that.”
89. “You’re the best thing I’ve ever found on the Internet.”
90. “There’s no one else I would rather snore next to.”
91. “Let’s keep making happy memories together even though you’re starting to lose yours.”
92. “I’m like a couch: always here to make you feel comfy and relaxed.”
93. “I love you more than coffee (and that’s saying a lot).”
94. “I’ve grown to accept the ridiculous choices you make.”
95. “It’s hard to find a partner that’s funny, sex, & smart. You’re one lucky lady!”
96. “I’d climb a mountain for you (just not a really big one).”
97. “In a galaxy far, far away there is someone I love. It’s you. The end.”
98. “Here’s to another year of staying together for the kids.”
99. “Happy anniversary to the love of my life and the biggest pain in my ass.”
100. “Admit it… life would be so boring without me!”
Read More: 125+ Funny Anniversary Wishes for Your Wife
Funny Anniversary Wishes for Friends
101. “Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.”
102. “You’ve tested positive for being the best couple in the world.”
103. “Here’s to another year of stealing each other’s food.”
104. “Love each other, even when you’re really really hangry.”
105. “Sorry you had to guilt me into acknowledging your anniversary.”
106. “It goes without being said, but remember: there are no refunds or returns.”
107. “I’m so glad both of you swiped right.”
108. “In the sock drawer of life, you two make the perfect pair.”
109. “I hope you can never afford a divorce.”
110. “Remember, couples that binge Netflix together stay together.”
111. “Today we celebrate the best decision you ever made.”
112. “Here’s to another year of me pretending to like your significant other.”
113. “Congratulations on [X] years of not killing each other wedding bliss.”
114. “Happy anniversary from someone you’re probably shocked knew it was your anniversary.”
115. “Well done! You’ve survived [X] years of marriage together.”
116. “I think you might actually be part of the 50 percent of couples that will make it.”
117. “A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.”
118. “Here’s to another year of staying together for the kids.”
119. “I had almost pictured you getting old alone, but look at you now! Old and married…”
120. “Happy anniversary to a couple whose age difference is much less creepy now.”
121. “You make the perfect couple because you’re both obsessed with you.”
122. “Couples that high-five together, stay together.”
123. “Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.”
124. “Congrats on passing your one year trial. I hope you decide to keep each other.”
125. “No matter how hard life gets, don’t feed each other to tigers.”
126. “Your yearly review is here: there’s room for improvement as a couple but adequate overall.”
127. “Happy anniversary from someone who knows more about the inner workings of your marriage than any third party should.”
128. “You’re both crazy, which is I guess why you married each other in the first place.”
129. “Well, you haven’t killed each other yet. I’d say you’re off to a great start.”
130. “Sometimes I wonder how you put up with him. Then I remember, he puts up with you. So you’re basically even.”
Read More: 88 Funny Anniversary Wishes for Your Friends
Funny Anniversary Wishes for Parents
131. “Happy anniversary from the reason you stayed married (you’re welcome).”
132. “You’ve tested positive for being the best parents in the world.”
133. “Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.”
134. “On your anniversary you deserve something expensive… luckily for you, I’m already here.”
135. “Sorry you had to guilt me into acknowledging your anniversary.”
136. “I feel so lucky to have remembered your anniversary.”
137. “Today we celebrate your codependence.”
138. “In the sock drawer of life, you two make the perfect pair.”
139. “Happy anniversary from your favorite financial burden.”
140. “I hope you can never afford a divorce.”
141. “Remember, parents that binge Netflix together stay together.”
142. “Today we celebrate the best decision you ever made.”
143. “So glad you two made a life together. And, you know, me.”
144. “Here’s to another year of me pretending to like each other.”
145. “Congratulations on [XX] years of not killing each other wedding bliss.”
146. “Happy anniversary from someone you’re probably shocked knew it was your anniversary.”
147. “Well done! You’ve survived [XX] years of marriage together.”
148. “I think you might actually be part of the 50 percent of couples that will make it.”
149. “A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.”
150. “Oh behave! Happy anniversary you groovy love birds.”
151. “I had almost pictured you getting old alone, but look at you now! Old and married…”
152. “Happy anniversary to a couple whose age difference is much less creepy now.”
153. “[XX] years! That escalated quickly.”
154. “Parents that high-five together, stay together.”
155. “Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.”
156. “Love each other, even when you’re really really hangry.”
157. “Congrats on passing your [XX] year trial. I hope you decide to keep each other.”
158. “No matter how hard life gets, don’t feed each other to tigers.”
159. “Your yearly review is here: there’s room for improvement as a couple but adequate overall.”
160. “Happy anniversary from someone who knows more about the inner workings of your marriage than any third party should.”
