88 Funny Anniversary Wishes for Your Friends

funny anniversary wishes for friends

It’s often said that laughter and a good sense of humor is the best way to celebrate anniversaries — and we completely agree!

But if you’re unsure of what to write in a happy anniversary card (or just need a bit of inspiration), we’ve compiled 88 hilarious anniversary wishes to share with your friends.

So whether you’re looking for something subtle, over the top, or in between — you’re sure to find a quote that resonates with you.

Funny Anniversary Wishes for Your Friends

1. “Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.”

2. “You’ve tested positive for being the best couple in the world.”

3. “Here’s to another year of stealing each other’s food.”

4. “Love each other, even when you’re really really hangry.”

5. “Sorry you had to guilt me into acknowledging your anniversary.”

6. “Unlike toilet paper, may your love never run out.”

7. “I’m so glad both of you swiped right.”

8. “In the sock drawer of life, you two make the perfect pair.”

9. “I hope you can never afford a divorce.”

10. “Remember, couples that binge Netflix together stay together.”

11. “Today we celebrate the best decision you ever made.”

12. “Here’s to another year of me pretending to like your significant other.”

13. “Congratulations on [X] years of not killing each other wedding bliss.”

14. “Happy anniversary from someone you’re probably shocked knew it was your anniversary.”

15. “Well done! You’ve survived [X] years of marriage together.”

16. “I think you might actually be part of the 50 percent of couples that will make it.”

17. “A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.”

18. “Here’s to another year of staying together for the kids.”

19. “I had almost pictured you getting old alone, but look at you now! Old and married…”

20. “Happy anniversary to a couple whose age difference is much less creepy now.”

21. “You make the perfect couple because you’re both obsessed with you.”

22. “Couples that high-five together, stay together.”

23. “Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.”

24. “Congrats on passing your one year trial. I hope you decide to keep each other.”

25. “No matter how hard life gets, don’t feed each other to tigers.”

26. “Your yearly review is here: there’s room for improvement as a couple but adequate overall.”

27. “Happy anniversary from someone who knows more about the inner workings of your marriage than any third party should.”

28. “You’re both crazy, which is I guess why you married each other in the first place.”

29. “Well, you haven’t killed each other yet. I’d say you’re off to a great start.”

30. “Sometimes I wonder how you put up with him. Then I remember, he puts up with you. So you’re basically even.”

31. “I hope you have a great first anniversary and that this exempts me from ever having to remember it again.”

32. “Couples that play together stay together.”

33. “You’re tighter than a pair of skinny jeans.”

34. “I hope you never get tired of making fun of each other.”

35. “Fact: You have at least 8 times more fun when you’re together.”

36. “Roses are red, violets are blue, drinks are cheaper than dinner for two.”

37.  “I forgot it was your anniversary, but thankfully Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t.”

38. “This is turning into the longest one night stand ever.”

39. “Happy [X] days of putting up with each other.”

40. “Your love for each is higher than the death toll in Game of Thrones.”

41. “Couples that stay together always rekindle their spark. Usually it’s because they think they’ve met someone new, but they’ve really just old and senile.”

42. “Keep making happy memories together even though you’re starting to lose yours.”

43. “Happy anniversary to a couple whose love and devotion after so many years continues to freak the hell out of everyone.”

44. “Of all the weirdos on the Internet, you two found each other.”

45. “This is your yearly reminder that you’re still married to each other.”

46. “Glad neither of you ghosted the other.”

47. “It’s remarkable how long you’ve tolerated each other.”

48. “Here’s to the king and queen of Netflix binges.”

49. “Today we celebrate your codependence.”

50. “A wedding band is the smallest handcuff ever made, I’m glad you chose your cellmate wisely.”

51. “Seems you’ve finally figured it out: he wears the pants and she controls the bank account.”

52. “To another successful year of not murdering each other.”

53. “Today is the perfect day to belittle your single friends.”

54. “Yay, you still like each other!”

55. “I hope he still holds in his farts…”

56. “I hope she doesn’t steal the covers too often.”

57. “No matter what life throws at you, at least both of you aren’t ugly.”

58. “[X] days married and you still haven’t killed each other yet. Impressive.”

59. “It all started with a kiss (and after a few drinks).”

60. “It’s pretty cool that you’ve been together for however long you’ve been together.”

61. “It goes without being said, but remember: there are no refunds or returns.”

62. “Well, you made it another year without one of you ending up dead or in jail. I call that a win.”

63. “You would think this thing called love would get easier. Nope, not one bit!”

64. “Let’s celebrate the day you both gave up on finding anyone better.”

65. “You’re both hotter than a Pop-Tart fresh out of the toaster.”

66. “I feel so lucky to have remembered your anniversary.”

67. “I’m glad you both broke the 3-date rule.”

68. “It’s a miracle you got this far.”

69. “Frankly astonished you’re not divorced yet.”

70. “It may look like crap but at least I got you a card.”

71. “You two make a perfect pear.”

72. “You go together like peanut butter and jelly.”

73. “I know it’s cheesy, but you’re both brie-liant.”

74. “You’re made pho each other.”

75. “Your bumble was meant to be.”

76. “I knead and a dough you as a couple.”

77. “[X] years, wood you believe it?”

78. “I’ve not for-cotton your anniversary.”

79. “Not to get all sappy, but I think you’re both tree-mendous.”

80. “Toad-ally awesome couple.”

81. “I know this is corn-y but you’re my favorite couple.”

82. “You’re shrimply the best.”

83. “Words cannot express hummus I adore you.”

84. “I absolutely forking love you two.”

85. “You mermaid for each other.”

86. “You’re both bun in a million.”

87. “If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.”

88. “I’m your #1 flan.”

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