100 Funny Anniversary Wishes for Your Parents

funny anniversary wishes for parents

It’s often said that laughter and a good sense of humor is the best way to celebrate anniversaries — and we completely agree!

But if you’re unsure of what to write in a happy anniversary card (or just need a bit of inspiration), we’ve compiled 100 hilarious anniversary wishes to share with your parents.

So whether you’re looking for something subtle, over the top, or in between — you’re sure to find a quote that resonates with you.

Funny Anniversary Wishes for Your Parents

1. “Happy anniversary from the reason you stayed married (you’re welcome).”

2. “You’ve tested positive for being the best parents in the world.”

3. “Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.” 

4. “On your anniversary you deserve something expensive… luckily for you, I’m already here.”

5. “Sorry you had to guilt me into acknowledging your anniversary.”

6. “Unlike toilet paper, may your love never run out.”

7. “I forgot it was your anniversary, but thankfully Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t.”

8. “In the sock drawer of life, you two make the perfect pair.”

9. “Happy anniversary from your favorite financial burden.”

10. “I hope you can never afford a divorce.”

11. “Remember, parents that binge Netflix together stay together.”

12. “Today we celebrate the best decision you ever made.”

13. “So glad you two made a life together. And, you know, me.”

14. “Here’s to another year of me pretending to like each other.”

15. “Congratulations on [XX] years of not killing each other wedding bliss.”

16. “Happy anniversary from someone you’re probably shocked knew it was your anniversary.”

17. “Well done! You’ve survived [XX] years of marriage together.”

18. “I think you might actually be part of the 50 percent of couples that will make it.”

19. “A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.”

20. “Oh behave! Happy anniversary you groovy love birds.”

21. “I had almost pictured you getting old alone, but look at you now! Old and married…”

22. “Happy anniversary to a couple whose age difference is much less creepy now.”

23. “[XX] years! That escalated quickly.”

24. “Parents that high-five together, stay together.”

25. “Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.”

26. “Love each other, even when you’re really really hangry.”

27. “Congrats on passing your [XX] year trial. I hope you decide to keep each other.”

28. “No matter how hard life gets, don’t feed each other to tigers.”

29. “Your yearly review is here: there’s room for improvement as a couple but adequate overall.”

30. “Happy anniversary from someone who knows more about the inner workings of your marriage than any third party should.”

31. “You’re both sort of crazy, which is I guess why you married each other in the first place.”

32. “Well, you haven’t killed each other yet. I’d say you’re doing great.”

33. “Sometimes I wonder how you put up with him. Then I remember, he puts up with you. So you’re basically even.”

34. “I hope you have a great anniversary and that this exempts me from ever having to remember it again.”

35. “You deserve a medal for putting up with Mom.”

36. “You deserve a medal for putting up with Dad.”

37. “Parents that complain about the neighbors stay together.”

38. “You’re tighter than a pair of skinny jeans.”

39. “I hope you never get tired of making fun of each other.”

40. “Fact: You have at least 7 times more fun when you’re together.”

41. “The one day I’m not the center of attention – I’ll allow it.”

42. “Roses are red, violets are blue, drinks are cheaper than dinner for two.”

43. “Here’s to another year of stealing each other’s food.”

44. “This is turning into the longest one night stand ever.”

45. “Happy [XX] days of putting up with each other.”

46. “Your love for each is higher than the death toll in Game of Thrones.”

47. “Here’s to another year of staying together for the kids.”

48. “Keep making happy memories together even though you’re starting to lose yours.”

49. “Happy anniversary to a couple whose love and devotion after so many years continues to freak the hell out of everyone.”

50. “Wait, you’ve been married how long?!”

51. “This is your yearly reminder that you’re still married to each other.”

52. “I didn’t forget your anniversary last year, I just didn’t remember it.”

53. “It’s remarkable how long you’ve tolerated each other.”

54. “I don’t always wish people a happy anniversary, but when I do, it’s only for my parent’s [XX]th anniversary.”

55. “Today we celebrate your codependence.”

56. “A wedding band is the smallest handcuff ever made, I’m glad you chose your cellmate wisely.”

57. “Seems you’ve always had it figured out: Dad wears the pants and Mom controls the bank account.”

58. “Happy anniversary from your favorite, most successful good looking child.”

59. “Today is the perfect day to belittle your single friends.”

60. “To another successful year of not murdering each other.”

61. “Yay, you still like each other!”

62. “I hope Dad still holds in his farts…”

63. “I hope Mom doesn’t steal the covers too often.”

64. “Happy [XX] year anniversary. Looks like things are getting pretty serious…”

65. “No matter what life throws at you, at least both of you aren’t ugly.”

66. “[XX] days married and you still haven’t killed each other yet. Impressive.”

67. “It all started with a kiss (and after a few drinks).”

68. “If you hadn’t got together you wouldn’t have the wonderful gift that is me.”

69. “It’s pretty cool that you’ve been together for however long you’ve been together.”

70. “It goes without being said, but remember: there are no refunds or returns.”

71. “Well, you made it another year without one of you ending up dead or in jail. I call that a win.”

72. “You would think this thing called love would get easier. Nope, not one bit!”

73. “No matter what life throws at you, at least your children aren’t complete degenerates.”

74. “Let’s celebrate the day you both gave up on finding anyone better.”

75. “You’re both hotter than a Pop-Tart fresh out of the toaster.”

76. “I feel so lucky to have remembered your anniversary.”

77. “I’m glad you both broke the 3-date rule.”

78. “This is going to be a great, great anniversary. Very special, very beautiful, really terrific.”

79. “It’s a miracle you got this far.”

80. “Frankly astonished you’re not divorced yet.”

81. “It may look like crap but at least I got you a card.”

82. “You two make a perfect pear.”

83. “I know it’s cheesy, but you’re both brie-liant.”

84. “Not to get all sappy, but I think you’re both tree-mendous.”

85. “You’re made pho each other.”

86. “Your bumble was meant to be.”

87. “I knead and a dough you as a couple.”

88. “[XX] years, wood you believe it?”

89. “You two turtally rock!”

90. “You’re shrimply the best.”

91. “I’ve not for-cotton your anniversary.”

92. “Toad-ally awesome couple.”

93. “I know this is corn-y but you’re my favorite couple.”

94. “Words cannot express hummus I adore you.”

95. “I absolutely forking love you two.”

96. “You mermaid for each other.”

97. “You go together like peanut butter and jelly.”

98. “You’re both bun in a million.”

99. “If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.”

100. “You two nuts belong together.”

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